By Paul Hunter
DEAR GABBY: I have always considered myself to be a caring and generous man. Kind of like a circus clown, only I don't wear make-up and I'm sort of ambivalent towards children. Whenever I'm not playing video games, I go to extra lengths to make sure that those close to me know that they are loved and will always have a special place in my guild. As an example of my generosity, last year I made one of my close friends a Companion Cube after her husband left to be with his "soulmate" he met in a Second Life hostel.
But here's the thing, last year I got turkey dropped and now I've found myself in my late-20's, living on my own in a new apartment and I can't even afford to continue my WoW subscription. Worst of all, I don't even have my own Companion Cube to keep me company. I need a gamer girl who can handle my addiction to Dead or Alive and not feel jealous, or ever better, can match my karate skills using Hitomi. What's a gamer guy like me supposed to do? -- COMPANION CLUELESS IN TO
DEAR COMPANION CLUELESS IN TO: If there is anyone who knows what it's like to get the short end of the stick, it's certainly me. After over 30 years of boxing my only victory comes from Glass Joe, but even that was a fluke because I tripped over my shoelaces and accidentally elbowed him in his trademark "glass jaw". Anyway, my advice to you is to pick up a Nintendo DS and stop playing video games inside. Go to Starbucks, grab a latte and play a few rounds of Mario Kart or Elite Beat Agents. Women can't resist public display of gaming, especially if your device is PictoChat enabled. Yaaay!
If you have a question about love, life or video games for DEAR GABBY, write us at firstname.lastname@example.org