Dear Gabby: Boletarian Wanderer Needs Chicken Soup for the Demon's Souls

By Paul Hunter

DEAR GABBY: With Valentine's Day come and gone I've had an awful lot on my mind. Take for example last Thursday when I heard that the world tendency in Demon's Souls was turning Pure White for five full days, giving me 120 potential hours to uncover all the secret events only available during this special alignment. I was faced with an important decision: do I risk taking my fiancee out for dinner and lose precious Demon's Souls Pure White time, or do I feign scurvy and tell her I'm too weak for love. Since we both rarely eat grapefruit, and regularly play Age of Booty co-operatively, I figured not only would would faking the illness be believable, but entirely probable.

The next thing I know it's 6pm on Vday and not only am I still at home and playing Demon's Souls, but my fiancee was kind enough to make me a kiwi smoothie using my favourite Yoshi travel cup. It was really quite sweet and it reminded me why I proposed to her over Xbox Live.

But now it's Tuesday, the world tendency has turned to Pure Black and I've been stuck in soul form for hours. The enemies are so tough to beat and all I want is a Blue Phantom to save me from this demonic hell. The worst part is with all this repetitious dying my mind has been wandering away from the game. I can't seem to shake this feeling that perhaps I should have gone out for dinner with my fiancee, or at least accepted her PSN friend request. How can I make these guilty thoughts go away? -- BOTHERED BOLETARIAN WANDERER IN WHISTLER

DEAR BOTHERED BOLETARIAN WANDERER IN WHISTLER: I'm not sure what this tendency talk is all about but if you want her to feel like a star, give her a pair of boxing gloves and ask her to punch you in the face while you're preoccupied with Demon's Souls. If she times it right, a few effective hooks and she'll be ready to give you a super blow that's sure to knock you off your feet. Not only will you forget all about the weekend, but you might forget about your fiancee all together. Presto, guilt is gone. Yaaay!

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